Learn flower arranging, I think, or bushido. I am not so good at it, but waiting for the zavarka to settle is a good cure for a lot. I suspect Didi was coming from a similar place with her comments, because it can be very hard to separate intra-dominant-group signal-boosting from cookie-seeking/arm-waving cries of 'house!'

Amen to that, and I share your hope. Yelling at people rarely accomplishes much except making them defensive...it saddens me how many internet folk hear 'I respectfully request you check your privilege in this issue' as a massive insult nowadays, which leaves one with the rather exhausting choice of coaxing and petting the privileged party until they unruffle and start listening again or carry on talking until they stalk off, in the hopes that someday they'll realise what they said/did hurts them as well...